The questions below are examples of those you can use to start engaging conversations. Your goal in meeting others is to help them feel at ease and at the same time, generate some conversation that will serve as a springboard for future conversations. You are searching for what we call in Networlding, “Points of Commonality” (things you share in common) and “Points of Credibility” (things that make this person unique and valuable to your network. Take a look at the following questions and think how you could use these questions to start your own engaging conversations. With each question, I add suggestions as to how you can use it to open up further exchange.

So what would be a good first question when you are out social networking. Try asking something like, “What was it that interested you in attending this evening (today, etc.)?

This question is particularly relevant to get someone to talk about something positive. For example, say your connection says, “I came here to see how I could expand my technology company. I specialize in helping other businesses integrate their IT initiatives together so departments are more in alignment with one another.” Now let’s say that you do business with the types of companies this person would like to connect with; now you offer, “I would enjoy meeting with you outside this event to see how we can support one another in meeting companies that could use your skills.

A second great question is, “Who is the best networker in this organization? Hopefully, that person will be at this event and you will be able to get an introduction to him or her. You also want to ask why they chose this person. You will usually find that most people have met great networkers—people who have networks that reach wide and deep and who, in general, enjoy meeting new people and networking with them. Interestingly, though, you will also find that often great networkers don’t’ know or connect with other great networkers. This is one of the best questions as you can be the “connector” to bring these people together, and, in doing so, become part of their networks and a great networker yourself.

Finally a third great question is, “What is one thing you are really looking forward to accomplishing in your business (or career) this year?” The reason this question works so well is two-fold. First, it is positive and directs your conversation to a subject that should add some great energy to the conversation. Second, it should yield one of the best replies you could receive from a question. An example of this question occurred during a networking event we did for a large bank recently. We facilitated a networking event with business owners of companies between $5-$50 million in sales. The result? The bank yielded about twenty business owners who replied that they either were planning to expand their business or that they were planning on purchasing some large piece of equipment. Now, there were business owners that would probably go back to their existing banks for loans for these purchases but we prepped the bank ahead of time to offer themselves as the backup bank. The results were great. The targeted question allowed them to offer support more specifically and effectively.

Who is one person you admire most in your industry? This is a particularly good question to find other top influencers and, hopefully, great networkers you would like to meet. You are looking for those influencers who are “ready, willing and able” to network with you. By asking this question you Great networking starts with great questions, so the next time you go to a networking event or you just want to brush up on your networking skills, try asking one of these great questions and see what happens. How do you open up relationships when you are social networking? Do you think social networking in person is still more effective than online?

Enter the big question everyone asks around networking. Just how many referrals could you get in one year? There are certainly a lot of number floating around out there, but according to a survey I have done with a number of the networking experts (see the article below) I have queried, the numbers that I am hearing and that I have witnessed are between 30-50 referrals.

But there is a catch! There is always a catch, of course. The catch, here, is that you need to set up some form of structured networking group to yield a return like 30-50 referrals. I would also add, coming from my Networlding world, that you need to first focus on the quality of the referral source amd second, on the quality of the referrals from your sources.

First, when choosing the quality of your referral source, consider the following:

1. people have networks that reach wide a deep. If the people you are networking with are new to networking and don’t have a vibrant network, they are very unlikely to be able to provide many referrals.
2. people who are ready, willing and able to make connections for you (and you are ready, willing and able to make connections for them).  So, for example, if the people you network with are so busy on current projects or have personal issues that take up their time, they are not in a position to be good referral sources.
3. people who are in some field that is complimentary to yours. In other words these people will be coming in contact with possible prospects they can refer.

In upcoming segments I will share more about how to ask for referrals and how to provide enough detail so that you turn your referral sources into a supplemental sales force. Of course you need to be prepared to do the same for them. But, when you have the right group of networking partners and have vibrant exchanges where you prepare your sources as to just what you are looking for you will find yourself creating a much richer and more successful pipeline. It’s all about the process.

- Melissa Giovagnoli, Networking Coach, Speaker, Trainer and Thoughtleader on the Science of Networking and Networks

For more information, email me at melissa@networlding.com.

In Malcolm Gladwell’s new book on success– Outliers: The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell (Hardcover – Nov 18, 2008) he talks about the 10,000 hour rule. Experts are defined as those who have at least 10,000 hours of research and development in a chosen field.  Note that the experts listed below exemplify the type of expert level you would choose if you are very serious about successful networking.

Donna Fisher
www.donnafisher.com
An introvert who learned how to network. Over 12 years ago she established Donna Fisher Presents in order to fulfill her lifelong desire to teach and inspire people to be all they can be. With her two businesses she combines her love of music and motivation.

Jill Lublin
www.jilllublin.com
Praised as a modern-day Dale Carnegie and co-author of the bestselling books Networking Magic, Guerrilla Publicity. Guerrilla Publicity contains hundreds of proven techniques and sure-fire tactics for any business, large or small, to launch an effective and creative publicity campaign.

Michael Hughes
http://www.speakersgroup.com/michael_hughes_bio.html
Michael has done extensive research on, and is a specialist in, utilizing networking as a business strategy. He is author of the 110-page special report entitled “Networking for Results: How to Leverage Relationships into More Sales and Profits”.

Michael Goldberg
http://www.buildingblocksconsulting.com
Michael Goldberg is a networking expert focused on helping sales producers and managers grow their practice. Michael speaks at conferences, runs sales meetings, and delivers dynamic programs on Networking, Referral Marketing, Sales Presentations, and Leadership.

Raeus Cannon
http://www.raeuscannon.com
Raeus Jae Cannon, CNPT, specializes in speaking to Chamber of Commerce groups. Raeus has first-hand experience of moving from shy and introverted to realizing success as an entrepreneur, trainer, author, and keynote speaker. Audiences can easily relate to Raeus’ personal stories and laugh at her experiences.

Susan RoAne
http://www.susanroane.com
Susan RoAne is the leading authority and original expert on how to work a room. She help companies and organizations successfully develop, build and manage client relationships that increase business growth.

Will Kintish
http://www.kintish.co.uk
The UK’s leading authority in Business Networking Skills training. Kintish have helped thousands of people become confident and effective networkers by offering business networking tips, techniques and training.

Bill Cates
http://www.referralcoach.com
Bill Cates, CSP, has revolutionized the way financial professionals generate an abundance of high-quality referrals. Bill has trained over 50,000 financial professionals in his proven referral system. And they are using his ideas to build their practices with quality referrals.

Heshie Segal
http://www.jetnettingconnection.com
Heshie Segal teaches her clients how to turn a business card, a presentation, and even a chance meeting into lasting business. JetNetting is an innovative and highly specific system of preparatory networking resulting in the eradication of cold calling, awkwardness and relationship tensions.

Renee Rosenberg
http://www.fiveoclockclub.com/speakers/Rosenberg.html
Renee Rosenberg has over 24 years experience in career management, counseling, coaching, and workshop training and facilitation. An accomplished and entertaining speaker, Renee regularly presents on a variety of topics including: effective intergenerational communication, and using positive thinking, laughter and optimism as career and life tools.

Robyn Henderson
http://www.networkingtowin.com.au/index.html
Robyn Henderson is a Global Networking Specialist. She has authored and contributed to 19 books (including 10 on networking and business building and 3 on self esteem and confidence building).

David Nour
http://www.relationshipeconomics.net
David Nour is a social networking strategist and one of the foremost thought leaders on the quantifiable value of business relationships. David is solving global client challenges with intracompany, as well as externally focused, Strategic Relationship Planning™.

Diane Darling
http://www.dianedarling.com
As a speaker and author, Diane Darling humorously shares her insights and techniques that can be immediately implemented helping people succeed.She is also a monthly columnist for the Boston Business Journal.

Bob Burg
http://www.burg.com
Bob Burg is a highly sought-after speaker at corporate, financial services and direct sales conventions. Combining humor and entertainment with easily applied, proven systems for personal marketing, audiences come away ready to immediately profit from Bob’s instruction and coaching.

Ivan Misner
http://www.bni.com
Dr. Ivan Misner is the Founder & Chairman of BNI, the world’s largest business networking organization. BNI was founded in 1985. The organization now has thousands of chapters throughout every populated continent of the world. Each year, BNI generates millions of referrals resulting in billions of dollars worth of business for its members.

Julia Hubbel
http://www.principlednetworking.com/index_alt.htm
Julia Hubbel is a professional speaker, seminar leader and prize-winning journalist who specializes in creating lasting, collaborative relationships. Her approach allows anyone to meet and mingle easily and with confidence, forming long-term business and personal alliances.

Andrea Nierenberg
http://www.nierenberggroup.com/index.php
Andrea R. Nierenberg, bestselling author and world-renowned business authority, is the force behind The Nierenberg Group. Called a “networking success story” by The Wall Street Journal, Andrea Nierenberg is founder and president of The Nierenberg Group.

Liz Lynch
http://www.networkingexcellence.com
Liz Lynch is author of Smart Networking: Attract a Following In Person and Online (McGraw-Hill, 2009) and a sought-after speaker who brings a practical and insightful perspective to networking that has connected with a global audience.

Melissa Giovagnoli
http://www.networlding.com
Melissa is one of the world’s leading experts on the development of individual and community leadership networks as a means of growing and accelerating brand loyalty and performance improvement inside and outside organizations.

Andy Lopata

www.lopata.co.uk
A Vice President of the Professional Speakers Association of the UK and a Director of the online network Word of Mouse, Andy is the co-author of two books on networking. His second book ‘…and Death Came Third! The Definitive Guide to Networking and Speaking in Public’ received worldwide acclaim and reached number 2 on Amazon.co.uk on its launch.

Donna Messer
http://www.connectuscanada.com
Donna Messer has been networking for the past 20 years. Donna Messer is President of ConnectUs Communications Canada, one of North America’s largest and most effective business matching companies.

Scott Allen
http://thevirtualhandshake.com/home.html
A 20-year veteran technology entrepreneur, executive and consultant, Scott Allen is the Entrepreneurs Guide for About.com. Scott has offered training programs in conjunction with business networking sites LinkedIn, Ryze, and others, plus courses on creating a powerful personal presence and growing your personal network on the internet.

Don Gabor
http://www.dongabor.com
Don helps professionals from all disciplines grow their revenues by starting profitable conversations with people in business and social situations.  e is the author of the bestseller, How to Start a Conversation and Make Friends, (Fireside/Simon & Schuster) and ten other books and tapes on interpersonal communication skills.

Mike O’Neil
http://www.integratedalliances.com
Founded in 2003, Integrated Alliances (IA) is a world leader in LinkedIn-related training with classroom workshop education (offline), web-based educational webinars (online) with both public and private sessions plus a rapidly expanding coaching and consulting practice.

Neen James
http://www.neenjames.com
Neen specializes in helping people within organizations to achieve amazing results by improving productivity in every aspect of their operations. Author of several books including Strategic Networking, Network or Perish, How to Run a Home Based Business, as well as many articles, e-zines and audio programs.

Daphne Medik
http://www.dmmcommunication.nl
Marketing communication and sales strategy, training and coaching. Inspiring ideas, practical solutions.

Thomas Power
http://www.ecademy.com
Thomas Power is the founder of ecademy.com. Helping business people thrive is what Ecademy facilitates.

Gerard De Gier
http://www.biocareerevent.nl/page/122
He conducts yearly a large number of training sessions in the fields of networking, creative business thinking (under the heading of “New Ideas on Your Command”), senior management and marketing. He also wrote several books on creative thinking (in collaboration with Professor Roger de Bruijn) and on networking.

Patrick Carney
http://referrals.ducttapemarketing.com/
Patrick Carney is a professional artist, networker, speaker and referral training consultant. He owns the Referral Institute – San Diego. In each of these roles, his focus is showing business professionals how to harness the power of referral marketing.

Jochem Klijn
http://www.netwerken.nl
Jochem Klijn has his own Business Network (www.netwerken.nl), travels throughout The Netherlands giving Network -training, -seminars and -courses and sells his English version eBook and AudioBook all over the world through his website: www.thelawofnetworking.com.

Sabine Tobback
http://www.culturaldetective.com
Sabine founded a training and coaching institute devoted to intercultural management, personal skills, human resources management, and leadership. She has developed programmes on virtual team effectiveness.

Jan Vermeiren
www.networking-coach.com
Originally Jan labeled his way of working “Marketing and Networking Coaching”. Due to the spectacular success of the networking activities, the marketing aspect has disappeared, though it is still Jan’s second passion. Now the company is primarily known under the brand name Networking Coach.

Here you find me in Ft. Lauderdale coming back from a long July 4th weekend. The picture was taken by my fiance, Craig, who just loves to take photos. I decided that I would start getting better pictures of the world of networking as I have experienced over the last decade or so.

Especially in these shaky economic times the last thing any of us need is to form relationships with people who look like dolphins–very sociable and attentive, but end up like sharks–feeding off of our connections for their individual gain. Those of you who regularly visit LinkedIn (www.linkedin.com) know that there are more Networlders on there than you thought would ever be in one place at one time.

My suggestion to any of you out there networking is to be discerning. Take your time when first connecting with new people. I have found the adage "listen with your eyes rather than your ears" is a good one. You will actually lose good business or career development time when you hastily build connections rather than take your time over two or three meetings with someone.

It’s all about trust and that is something that comes through behavior–what you say you are going to do is what you do. My suggestion would be start with just one, small and simple thing you and the new person you want to network with can do for one another. As I often say in Networlding, "Think exchange." This could look like you sending over a link to some useful information. Now you have done something small and, hopefully, the potential networking partner you have just met will reciprocate or, at the least, respond with a healthy "thank you." If not, you now know more about this person. The bottomline? Seek people who recipricate and find if they do, first, before you invest too much into the relationship.

Career Centre