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What does it take to create a great relationship? It all starts with great questions. Whether you are attending a meeting, a conference or an after-hours networking event, asking questions that “open up” relationships can make all the difference.

The questions below are examples of those you can use to start engaging conversations. Your goal in meeting others is to help them feel at ease and at the same time, generate some conversation that will serve as a springboard for future conversations. You are searching for what we call in Networlding, “Points of Commonality” (things you share in common) and “Points of Credibility” (things that make this person unique and valuable to your network. Take a look at the following questions and think how you could use these questions to start your own engaging conversations. With each question, I add suggestions as to how you can use it to open up further exchange.

So what would be a good first question when you are out social networking. Try asking something like, “What was it that interested you in attending this evening (today, etc.)?

This question is particularly relevant to get someone to talk about something positive. For example, say your connection says, “I came here to see how I could expand my technology company. I specialize in helping other businesses integrate their IT initiatives together so departments are more in alignment with one another.” Now let’s say that you do business with the types of companies this person would like to connect with; now you offer, “I would enjoy meeting with you outside this event to see how we can support one another in meeting companies that could use your skills.

A second great question is, “Who is the best networker in this organization? Hopefully, that person will be at this event and you will be able to get an introduction to him or her. You also want to ask why they chose this person. You will usually find that most people have met great networkers—people who have networks that reach wide and deep and who, in general, enjoy meeting new people and networking with them. Interestingly, though, you will also find that often great networkers don’t’ know or connect with other great networkers. This is one of the best questions as you can be the “connector” to bring these people together, and, in doing so, become part of their networks and a great networker yourself.

Finally a third great question is, “What is one thing you are really looking forward to accomplishing in your business (or career) this year?” The reason this question works so well is two-fold. First, it is positive and directs your conversation to a subject that should add some great energy to the conversation. Second, it should yield one of the best replies you could receive from a question. An example of this question occurred during a networking event we did for a large bank recently. We facilitated a networking event with business owners of companies between $5-$50 million in sales. The result? The bank yielded about twenty business owners who replied that they either were planning to expand their business or that they were planning on purchasing some large piece of equipment. Now, there were business owners that would probably go back to their existing banks for loans for these purchases but we prepped the bank ahead of time to offer themselves as the backup bank. The results were great. The targeted question allowed them to offer support more specifically and effectively.

Who is one person you admire most in your industry? This is a particularly good question to find other top influencers and, hopefully, great networkers you would like to meet. You are looking for those influencers who are “ready, willing and able” to network with you. By asking this question you Great networking starts with great questions, so the next time you go to a networking event or you just want to brush up on your networking skills, try asking one of these great questions and see what happens. How do you open up relationships when you are social networking? Do you think social networking in person is still more effective than online?

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With the upcoming new year upon us, you may be asking yourself questions like, “What will my business revenues look like next year?” or “Where will the business come from in the new year?” To answer that question it is also good to figure out just how many new sales calls, leads or referrals you need to generate to develop your business.

Enter the big question everyone asks around networking. Just how many referrals could you get in one year? There are certainly a lot of number floating around out there, but according to a survey I have done with a number of the networking experts (see the article below) I have queried, the numbers that I am hearing and that I have witnessed are between 30-50 referrals.

But there is a catch! There is always a catch, of course. The catch, here, is that you need to set up some form of structured networking group to yield a return like 30-50 referrals. I would also add, coming from my Networlding world, that you need to first focus on the quality of the referral source amd second, on the quality of the referrals from your sources.

First, when choosing the quality of your referral source, consider the following:

  1. people have networks that reach wide a deep. If the people you are networking with are new to networking and don’t have a vibrant network, they are very unlikely to be able to provide many referrals.
  2. people who are ready, willing and able to make connections for you (and you are ready, willing and able to make connections for them).  So, for example, if the people you network with are so busy on current projects or have personal issues that take up their time, they are not in a position to be good referral sources.
  3. people who are in some field that is complimentary to yours. In other words these people will be coming in contact with possible prospects they can refer.

In upcoming segments I will share more about how to ask for referrals and how to provide enough detail so that you turn your referral sources into a supplemental sales force. Of course you need to be prepared to do the same for them. But, when you have the right group of networking partners and have vibrant exchanges where you prepare your sources as to just what you are looking for you will find yourself creating a much richer and more successful pipeline. It’s all about the process.

- Melissa Giovagnoli, Networking Coach, Speaker, Trainer and Thoughtleader on the Science of Networking and Networks

For more information, email me at melissa@networlding.com.

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Unique Networking Leaders

November 16, 2008

Below is a list that was compiled by one of the expert networkers listed below. If you know of someone who should be on this list please email me at melissa@networlding.com. I will be happy to take a look at the person’s background and credentials and showcase them as warranted. In Malcolm Gladwell’s new book [...]

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Swimming with the Sharks

July 14, 2008
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